Now I'm doing it too.

Life was normal except one thing.
I was seventeen the youngest person sitting in the rows. I was also one of the smartest a year ahead of my original class. I watched the two rows ahead of my row walk across the stage and then it was my turn.I walked holding my card in my hand before handing it over to the first vice principal on the stage. She handed it over seconds later to the second vice principal the one saying our names and if we had honors and such. I listen as the girl in front of me's name gets called. And then it's my turn. I smile nervously, nervous smiles are basically all that emerged from my body at that time and then it happened.
"Stephanie Efrie. Honors."
I roll my eyes once again, we've been going over this for three days and she still hasn't got my name right.
"Erfe."
I tell her standing still not crossing the stage this time my arms crossed in front of my chest, basically glaring at her.
"Oh that's right I wrote it right here. Okay let's go back to the beginning."
The beginning really just meant that Rebecca walked back and stood in front of me again and then walked across the stage once again. Then she got my name once again and this time it was right.
"Stephanie Erfe. Honors."
I smiled widely at her, I had to fake liking her because after three days of rehearsals I was the only one whose name she still mixed up. I walked across the stage and then waited for my row to finish before I could sit down and text once again.
I went to dinner that night with half my family. And while I was there I texted my best friend for the first time. That's right Ashley Marie I texted you, the first text from you still in my phone, "Hot Steamy Fireman Kevin." ILY<3
It was just a rehearsal and it was still making me not want to go the next day, my actual graduation. I'm pretty sure the only reason that I did go is that my WHOLE family was going to be there. My gram, papa, dad and jay all came from Connecticut. Aunt Brenda and Uncle Mike came from New Hampshire. My cousin Jason came all the way from his house in Blacksburg, VA (he went to tech). My other cousin DJ and his wife Sarah came, which was a big deal because aside from me no one had seen DJ in like two years. It was a big deal, but even so I didn't want to walk across the stage.
The next day I did just that, I was officially a high school graduate, even though I hadn't stepped foot on school grounds in over a week.
I should have done what I wanted to do the year before. Graduate with my older brother. There were two things holding me back from doing just that. English 12 & Government. I took four classes my senior year of high school, five if you count my teachers aide class which was when I truthfully played on JonasBrothersFan.com, the whole time. My four classes were English 12, Government, Printing (art) & photography(also art). English was never a good subject for me, I barely passed 11 grade English. And yet I was in AP English 12. And History, I was in a 'slow' or as most would call it Average History class my 11th grade year, which I passed with FLYING colors. I had an A, and passed the SOL with a 596 out of 600. Yes I was that good. But then put me in AP Government with a Hippie teacher who hated me. And I have a C.
But even so I wish I had graduated with my brother. I left highschool with the most credits out of anyone in my class who didn't have a full 8 classes each year. I had 32 credits, most students only had 24, which is what was needed to graduate. And while I wasn't the valedictorian (she was Russian[theonetheyearbeforewastoo]) or salutatorian (he was my friend). I was still sitting there proudly looking at the world. I had missed graduating with highest honors by .05. Government killed my GPA. But still I had proved I was just as smart as I knew I was.
I didn't go to Prom, dances just weren't my thing. I slept in class ALL THE TIME, I never slept at home. I never did my homework, except AP English, because I love Mrs. Gregory. I hardly went to History in 11th grade, it was more fun to hang out in my fave teachers class. And I didn't have friends that I wanted to keep, but I did have memories with people.
So graduation day came around, and my ringtone on my phone changed to 'Graduation Day' Irony no? I walked across the stage, she got my name right finally, and i got my diploma. Life was good.

(oh & then i started talking to you hoes all the time. haha :] )

xoxo
Stephani

Ashley may have started a trend...

Ashley's graduation post got me all nostalgic, and so now I'm going to reminisce haha. Don't worry about reading this if you don't want xD

Graduation week was a blur for me too. I just remember rehearsing like crazy in the hot sun--but missing class for it, so that was cool. There were so many different ceremonies, award nights, and preparations, things got a bit stressful. But I wouldn't have traded it for the world.
Silly as it may seem, I was super excited about my class rank getting me in the front row of the bleachers. I would have been waaaaay in the back otherwise, haha. My two good friends were the valedictorian and salutatorian, and they both gave amazing speeches: two amazing girls, I was so proud. One headed off to the University of VA, the other to MIT. I watched as all the people I've spent years and years with walked across the stage to get their diplomas, and only then did it become real. Before that, it was all preparation, and it never really occurred to me that high school was over.
That night, I didn't go out and get smashed. But only because the Project Graduation (in place mainly to keep the grads from getting smashed) had too many free activities and too much free food to pass up. My friends and I were up till 4 am, running back and forth getting food, swimming, taking crazy pictures, dancing, and jumping around on the inflatable twister boards and bungee runs. By the end of the night, we all might as well have been drinking--everyone was so exhausted they all passed out on the bus.
I spent the rest of the summer working and going to graduation parties. Some of them were for really close friends. Others were for random classmates that entailed a short visit. I saw my old best friend again for the first time in probably five or six years. That was a huge wake up call too. Because I've changed from junior high. A lot. She didn't recognize me for a second. Back then, I was a painfully quiet, sweatshirt-wearing, shy smart kid with glasses. High school changed me profoundly. Doing the annual musical, getting involved in clubs....and swimming most of all. It kept me (relatively) in shape, gave me a sense of pride, and put me in a leadership position quite unexpectedly (no one was more surprised than me when I got captain). My glasses were gone and I actually cared about what I was wearing. So I could see why she didn't recognize me. It was weird--and kinda sad--how that part of my life, along with my closeness with her, was gone.

All too soon, the summer was over. And there loomed something pretty terrifying--college. The longest I had been away from home was the two weeks I spent in France on a school trip. My mom claimed I was independent enough not to go home every weekend like she did back then.
I wasn't so sure.
But I was lucky to have my best friend as my roommate and two other close friends at the same school. I don't know what I would have done if I was going to a school where I didn't know anyone. I have way too hard a time meeting new people.
But then, by that spring, not only did I meet some new people at UConn (including a boy who's still always on my mind), I met some pretty amazing people on a random website.

Over a year later, I'm proud to call these girls friends.

Ily guys <3>




Okay, I'm done being sappy. :)

graaaaduation

with the anniversary of my graduation coming up on the 25th of this month, i thought i'd reminisce about it a little bit. and no, i can't do it silently and by myself. but the plus side is that you don't have to read it. :)

it's not so much graduation itself that i want to remember. it was just, whatever. it's the few days leading up to it, and the HELL of a night it was after getting my diploma. it was one of the best days of my life. and not because i graduated from high school and got plastered. (though admittedly it played a big part of it.)

most of that week was a blur. i had my forensics awards night, rehearsal, and the last day of school. i didn't cry and i didn't really care. by then i was just ready to LEAVE. the night before graduation shalaylay (shalaria, my black lover...i miss her! she wasn't really my lover but hopefully you knew that.) and i raided walgreens and bought a shitload of candy and redbull and just rode around drinking redbull, pigging out, and talking about people. it was a lot of fun. :)

graduation day was kind of awesome on its own. will came around lunchtime and we went to eat at broma's. his dad was there because he didn't drive then and it was sort of awkward but amazing at the same time. we went to walmart afterwards for black nail polish (i had to redo my nailssss) and it was hilarious.

okay, this is officially my dumbest blog ever, but i'm smiling so big right now remembering so deal with it.

the graduation march was long and boring and when they finally called my name i felt a tear but it dried up because i knew it was finally over and i could quit that bitch. i didn't cry. i'm proud of myself for that because i legit cry about everything. but what DID almost make me cry was on the walk back to my seat i heard one word shouted loud from the bleachers.

"JERRY!"

now obv. that's not my name. disappointing i know. i actually had a friend named jerry in high school and we made fun of people together (dude it was a hobby back then) but that's not the point.

when i heard that name yelled, it made me the happiest person in the world. sam, eric, timmy, isiah and chris all were there for me. these guys were my friends and even though they told me they were gonna come and yell that out for me (a gch reference) i didn't know whether or not to believe them. these were the boys that rarely even went to school, much less went to school functions they didn't need to be at. so for them to be there for my graduation made me so happy.

needless to say i partied at sam's house. and hopefully you all know what happened so i don't have to get into it.

but the highlights were: (oh how i remember them so well...at times i still get made fun of)

isiah - *taking a drink of some boone's farm stuff* i can't believe i'm enjoying something with melon ball as the title.

me - *after having just taken a drink from something* *spews it all over everybody*

(fun fact - don't say anything funny when i'm drunk and taking a drink of something unless you want a shower.)

--
we decided to go into this house they told me was haunted...along the way...

we laid in the middle of the road. could have gotten ran over.

the boys stopped and peed like twenty times. i absolutely remember saying "you can pee all you want just don't let me see your wee-wees."

there's a big factory or something and it had dirt hills and they tried to climb them. i was like, "omg we're gonna get arrested!" and started to freak. it was kinda funny though.

--
and oh lord. the house. don't really remember much about it because it was hella freaky and i was drunk. but on the way out i cussed out god.

oh graduation.

this entire thinking and writing about graduation and the resulting summer makes me really miss the old me. dude, i used to have fun. what the fuck?

i wish i could get back into my fun life. but noooo i'm stuck here.

CRYSTAL THIS IS YOUR CONCERN NO ONE ELSE LOL

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*** PPYFTG

I just need to get this off my chest.

It doesn't have to do with you guys, it has to do with me so you don't have to read it. I promise.
My family is an effin walking talking, breathing bunch of contradictions. And most of them are all about me, those effin contradictions.
I curse too much, according to my grandparents, and yet when anything happens with them it's fucking this, bitch that. I mean come on now if I can't why can you?
My brother says he bet's i can loose twenty pounds(i'm trying legitly) before he gets a 6 pack. My dad thinks I'll gain twenty more.
My grandmother thinks I need to eat more.
You can ask Crystal basically the whole time I was at her house I ate one meal a day. Because I normally don't eat that much. I'll eat something small around lunch time, just a little snack thing, and then have dinner late at night OR I'll eat breakfast and then nothing until late at night once again for dinner. And because my family eats randomly and they NEVER tell me when dinner is done. I usually don't get done with my homework and everything until at least 8:30 9 PM.
My grandfather thinks I eat to much.
My grandmother thinks I spend too much money on stupid stuff and should get out of the house more. My grandfather doesn't care about how much money I spend but he thinks I need to be in the house more.
I am gone one week when my grandparents get home with groceries and I get told 'I got out of it this time'. My brother who doesn't have school that late on Wednesdays is never home EVER and he doesn't have to do anything.
It just bothers me. Legitly bothers me.
xoxo
Stephani

wow.

reading through all of the old blog posts (yes, i know i have no life, thanks for thinking it) really made me inexplicably happy for some reason. yeah there were some blog posts that were sad, some that were stupid, and a few that are downright unnecessary, but reading them made me realize just how close we all are.

reading through them made me realize that you girls would be there for me no matter what. and that really helps me out a lot. you all know by now i'm a worrier. but reading through those blog posts put things into perspective.

so thank you for being amazing. :)

<3

i'm listening to "i'm not over" by carolina liar. i love the song so that's why i'm telling you that.

there's no real purpose to this blog (is there one for any that i write?) so don't come expecting one. :)

i just got off the phone with will. we had a forty minute phone conversation. and honestly, if you subtract the stuff we never used to talk about (the jonas brothers and miley cyrus heyyy) it was exactly like it used to be. it's so weird.

we're not really friends anymore, but we still get each other. and that confuses me. it was fun to talk about starts with a spin and harry draco slash with someone who was there when it all started for me. the memories.

it's so frustrating that we can never really ignore each other, yet we're not friends like we always were. it's better, but i wish i understood it.