i love you betches

i read crystal's comment on my last blog and then her blog and it made me really think. i agree with her so much. of course i could have commented her and told her that, but i wanted to write a blog so deal with it. :)

as you've probably all heard before i'm not all that great at making friends. a lot of it is my shyness (trust me, it exists) and all of my insecurities. i think that part of it is that i never really learned how to interact with people. for about 3 years instead of being in a public school having to interact with people i was in a private christian pentecostal school. that's enough to fuck anyone up.

but i'm not gonna blame me failing as a person on that. i'm not even gonna talk about it.

the fact is that it's hard for me to trust people sometimes. i trust them but then i doubt what they say.

even though that happens to me with you girls every now and then (old habits die hard) i feel like you are in my life for a reason.

you're my family and my best friends. you're there whenever i need you. even when we fight and hate each other (for like 5 minutes) i know that i can always count on you guys. we may not get to talk all that often and we may miss out on things that happen in each other's lives, but we're best friends.

you girls are the sisters i would trade my sister in for in a heartbeat. :)

i don't know why you girls decided i was worthy of being your friend, but thank you. you've helped me through so much.

sometimes i have my doubts about god and whether or not he exists. us all being friends simply because we found each other on a jonas forum is proof enough for me. it would have been to easy just to stay anonymous on a fan site. but we all got to know each other and i'm grateful every day.

i really just wanted to say that. it's random and just rambling, but oh well. :)

oh i have a blog now. :)