basically, for some unexplained reason i've just been feeling that life is rather sucky. i've been living in louisiana since january and i haven't accomplished ANYTHING. my life is going nowhere and i'm beginning to wonder if i even have a future. i'm probably just going to fade into oblivion. and when i die people aren't even gonna care because nobody really knows me at all.
that being said, i don't know why i feel this way. i mean i laugh a lot and i love being here. dylan is one of my favorite people, just because he's so funny. and my grandma makes sure i get to do things i want to do, often at her expense. it just seems that all of this is superficial and not real.
the last time i really blogged i said that will and i were becoming friends again. and yeah, we were, but the very next day he pissed me off again. i hate being lied to and i'm pretty sure he lied hardcore. if not i'm sorry but it just seems unrealistic to me. but what do i know?
and friends in general, i just don't know. i feel like i've withdrawn from everyone and talking just seems weird. i know i have you guys but it just doesn't feel the same to me. i'm not even excited about the meetup anymore, and we all know how i was about it. i know it's not you guys that's making me feel this way, i don't know what it is.
i feel so lost and it's insane because i don't want to feel this way. i want to be myself again.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
a word. or a thousand.
Posted by Anonymous at 12:10 AM
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2 comments:
Ashley...while I love you and I'm sorry that you feel this way...I almost want to slap you upside the head. because people will care when you die...or am I totally not a person?
I am sorry that you feel this way Ashley. It's a rut and believe me those suck. I was in one for a few years and I still think I may be in one somewhat. It takes time to get out of it...but you will get out of it.
Just remember that we love you...and I know I'm willing to help in any way that I can. You just have to talk to me though so I can try to help.
Ashbash,
I love you I told you this at least twice today while we are talking, we still are after all. I agree with Crystal in the slap you upside the head part. Seriously you think that people won't care when you die? You are my best friend in the entire world, literally the best friend I have, and if you die I'll probably be in a catatonic state for months.
Its hard enough not talking to you for days, not talking to you forever would suck.
And remember bby I love you, you are important to me, and I am always here for you.
<3
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