i'm becoming somewhat normal

well it's official...

i'm becoming somewhat normal.

i now have my permit...

and an ID should be on it's way.

i also have driven twice now....

and gotten stuck in the snow twice.

that's what happens when i get taught to drive in the winter.

and yes i'm kinda expecting jokes to be made about getting stuck...

i've already been getting them so it won't surprise me at all if i get any from any of you.

and now my cousin has me filling out job applications as well.

so it's possible that i may be getting a job at some point.

i'm becoming an adult...

and well so far it isn't so bad.

next thing on the list of things to do....

apply to delta to get my GED...

and then take college classes.

i'm actually getting something that resembles a life.

oh joy.

<3

Crystal

i have no clue what to title this

ok so i came to realize something like 20 mintues ago.

i don't talk to Mel nearly as much as i talk to Ashley or Steph or Megan.

i think i've even talked to Ren more times than i've talked to Mel.

it's not that i have anything against her cause i so don't...

i think it's just that i've been afraid that i'll say something wrong and make her mad at me or something.

and well i wouldn't want that because even though i haven't talked to her all that much...

she's still one of my best friends.

but i am determined to change that little fact.

as a matter of fact i'm talking to her right now.

which means i have no idea really why i'm writing this seeing as i've told her this stuff already.

or at least most of it.

anyway back to talking to Mellers.

love you girlie.

<3

Crystal

Warped tour via summer 2009

So I was talking to Marina and Brittany. And well they said that they would be going to warped tour. So yea. Boston guys?
hahah.
ily<3

xoxo
Stephani

tra la la la :)

I'm a dork but we love me. I love stupid things, Chomper the dinosaur, taking pictures, dying my hair and watching movies. I have the best friends I love to death aka Ashley, Ren, Ricky, Mel, Megan, Spencer, Crystal and Corinne...AND Bre (Almost forgot her). And the band that rocks my world, it's just changing all of a sudden. I mean I still love JB. It's hard not to Kevin Jonas is fucking sex. But other forces in my life have caused me to rethink a lot of my music choices. I mean I never just stuck to typical disney pop. I've always been the girl who liked everything but right now I'm just leaning more towards bands like Metro Station, Cobra Starship, The Academy is..., Forever the Sickest Kids. Those bands have basically become life to me. Who knows. I don't even remember why I started to blog this blog in the first place. But I do know my little three year old sister just called me at 9:03 AM on a day I don't work. I love her she rocks.
And now just for a random quote cause I can.

"Start every day with a smile and get it over with." -- W. C. Fields

xoxo
Stephani

loving new hair

ok so i have no idea why i'm writing/posting this.

but what the heck...

while i'm at it i'll let you know that you can view a picture of my new hair on my facebook.

leave a comment if you want to.

hmm....now what else to write?

i don't know.

can't come up with anything.

guess this is just pointless.

I picked a new background.

But I'm sure we all know I'm like...do i like it or not?
and since i'm not sure i'm asking you.
like it?

xoxo

Stephani

Basically.

I want a cool new ARMSAC blog background, which explains why I changed it to what I changed it too.
And then Ashley had to go all amazing on her blog.
and I'm all jealous.
so.
ASHLEY MAKE US A SUPER COOL NEW LAYOUT.....

kkthanks<3

xoxo
Stephani

i love you betches

i read crystal's comment on my last blog and then her blog and it made me really think. i agree with her so much. of course i could have commented her and told her that, but i wanted to write a blog so deal with it. :)

as you've probably all heard before i'm not all that great at making friends. a lot of it is my shyness (trust me, it exists) and all of my insecurities. i think that part of it is that i never really learned how to interact with people. for about 3 years instead of being in a public school having to interact with people i was in a private christian pentecostal school. that's enough to fuck anyone up.

but i'm not gonna blame me failing as a person on that. i'm not even gonna talk about it.

the fact is that it's hard for me to trust people sometimes. i trust them but then i doubt what they say.

even though that happens to me with you girls every now and then (old habits die hard) i feel like you are in my life for a reason.

you're my family and my best friends. you're there whenever i need you. even when we fight and hate each other (for like 5 minutes) i know that i can always count on you guys. we may not get to talk all that often and we may miss out on things that happen in each other's lives, but we're best friends.

you girls are the sisters i would trade my sister in for in a heartbeat. :)

i don't know why you girls decided i was worthy of being your friend, but thank you. you've helped me through so much.

sometimes i have my doubts about god and whether or not he exists. us all being friends simply because we found each other on a jonas forum is proof enough for me. it would have been to easy just to stay anonymous on a fan site. but we all got to know each other and i'm grateful every day.

i really just wanted to say that. it's random and just rambling, but oh well. :)

oh i have a blog now. :)

So...

I've legit been saying for oh two weeks now that I am dying cause I am coughing so bad. Well guess what kiddos I could have been. :p
I have bronchitis, a bad case of it because it wasn't treated for so long. I win you loose. I was dying.

basically that's all i wanted.

xoxo
Stephani

here's one of my sappy moments...get used to them

okay so i had an urge to go back and reread some of the old blog posts that Ashley and Stephani had written and i came to realize something all over again.

we really are a family.

it doesn't matter that we aren't blood related or that some, if not all of us, have had our share of 'fights' with each other...

we are truly a family.

and i don't know about the other girls but i couldn't ask to be a part of a better family.

don't get me wrong i love my biological one...

it's just...

i don't know...

there's something about having such a tight bond with people that you choose to have in your life.

yet it kind of seems like i didn't choose them, more like they were meant to be in my life.

kinda like what Ashley said in one of her old posts, it's like we were all meant to be best friends.

and if that's true...

well all i can honestly say is thank you.

<3

Crystal

ARMSAC CHATTTT NEEDED

Yo yo yo hoes and Ren
We needs us an ARMSAC chat with every member opposed to most of us or just some of us. We need Ashley, Mel, Crystal, Ren and me for reals.
We need to talk out the summer trip and the joint.
I mean I know we have the dates and shizz for the trip figured out but like I have questions.
For the two days we're at my house, right after everyone arrives is Mel going to be there too? What if Megan and Spencer and Corinne come? What happens then. We already said that the whore couldn't come. I'm just wondering these things I mean you know I have questions.
Plus we need to work on our joinnnnt.
Well I'm going to decorate my room.
:)

xoxo
Stephani

this blog has absolutely no point.

i wrote today for the first time in forever. well technically i started it last night but whatever.

i'm kind of glad i did it, but i realized just how long it's been since i've written anything. and how bad i am really.

don't take this as your cue to say "oh no you're not and blah blah blah."

i've always been uncertain of myself and i'm sure it's gonna be that way forever.

i don't worry about how much i suck at writing as much as i worry that you girls have been pretending all along to like me and be my friends all just to let me down and say it was a joke.

that would kill me.

i have issues.

pointless...really.

well this hasn't been updated in a few days.
so i figure what the heck i'll write something.

well there is a new president in office as of like noon today.

but i'm sure all of you know that.

hm...let's see.

i don't really have anything to say.

but i will say that the Jonas live chat the other day was awesome.

and the Tonight music video was amazing.

even though i missed watching it premiere on Disney.

god bless Youtube.

eh thats all for now.

<3

Crystal

Livechat.

So here's how it's going down right now the four of us who are in the livechat, Mellers, Ashbash, Crystalily & I are all in different rooms. I got on basically last, Mellers got on after me, but I am in the best room. We have a game plan, atleast according to Ashley we do.
We bombard them until they say hi to ARMSAC and then Ash proceeds to piss her pants.
I have homework to do, which is not going to be fun so I should probably do that now.
And the teenies are spazzing out slightly cause well a piece of paper is moving.
OMG THE PAPER MOVED.
thanks for informing me if you didn't i wouldn't have known *rolls eyes*
Maybe a little after chat post too.

xoxo
Stephani

oh. my. god.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq1z6bgSwXY

so.

i started a blog of my own.
and well i guess it's okay to be a blog hog there.
...yea.
xoxo
Stephani

Denouncing Boys

I'm tired, tired of stupid teenage boys who are retarded. I'm tired of boys in general who are retarded. Boys who act sweet one second and then get really mad at you the next. Boys who talk to you nonstop for the longest time and then stop talking to you except through friends. Boys who act like they are decent and then the next second turn into pervs. Boys who demand you do everything for them and then do absolutely nothing for you. I'm tired of boys. Yea I say this truthfully, I don't want to have to deal with boys anymore. The only boys I wanna talk to are either fake, posters on my wall or famous so they won't talk back.
I have given up on boys.

xoxo

Stephani

This is why, I don't dream anymore.

I always knew that I was a perverted fuck. It's actually not hard to see that, most of the things that I say are sexual innuendo, or perverted in some form or another. But last night(this was in September or August btw) I think I reached a new high in my perv level. Seriously. I had one of the most perverted dreams I have ever had last night, about one of my best friends little brothers. Before you start to freak out on me it's not like the kid I was messing with was like six or anything, he's two years younger than me. But now I feel completely and totally disgusted that I could think that way about him. I mean the kid is totally chill and we joke around like that but I would NEVER actually do anything with him. And that dream last night totally didn't help me, because well he kind of sucked at kissing, despite having delicious lips. BUT I can not believe that I would think this way about him. Even though I did before in a joking manner because my dream last night was no fucking joke... well there was fucking it just wasn't a joke. And now I'm scared to look the boy in the eyes, and it's hard not to since I see him almost every day, or I talk to him almost every day. I'm so not telling him about this dream though. Cause knowing him he would be like, "So yea want to act it out?"


Fuck I'm a PERV! ugh

xoxo
Stephani

p.s. Ashley this is basically my dream we kissed(he sucked) and then we fucked.

miserable at best

you know what sucks?
being 18 and not being able to drive.
especially when there is a concert you really want to see in less than a week.

not only is it Jonas Brothers...
but it's Honor Society as well.

why must everyone be so cruel and not allow me to go?

i mean yea i know it's like an hour and a half drive there...

and then the person driving would probably want to see the show too instead of waiting in the parking lot wasting gas with the car on.

but still...

i want to go.

and i'm really bummed right now that i can't.

and i'm probably going to be at least slightly bummed until Sunday comes and goes.

this post was mainly so i could wallow...

so now i'm going to continue wallowing...

and go kill things on World of Warcraft.

maybe that will make me feel a little better.

<3

Crystal

True Story

Create your own FACEinHOLE

have some composure, where is your posture?

i'm a little sad. everyone else was told they were amazing in steph's last blog, and all i got was weird and old. gee thanks.

anywho, right now i'm freezing and rocking out to some panic and just enjoying it. i don't like having limited internet time, especially when i have to hide the fact there's an armsac blog.

i don't know what i really wanted to blog about, but i told crystal way earlier that i kind of wanted to. so this will be just a random ramble i bet. you don't have to read.

a few months ago i had a klondike bar for the first time. and i don't know what they tried to get me to think, but they aren't anything special. i mean i wouldn't do anything to get a klondike bar other than open the freezer and getting one. they're not that amazing. it's just ice cream.

i'm really wishing i could find this fanfic that's been eating at me to reread it, but everywhere i look i can't find it. i know that when i do find it i won't be talking to a soul until i finish it. the fact that i'll be reading it on my phone will only make it take twice as long.

it's so sad that i remember so much about the fanfic, but can't remember the title. ugh.

ohh snap, i just realized the one website i haven't checked.

let me go there right quick.

Your search returned no results.

boo, if any site had it it would have been that one.

i'm seriously bummed. i know the story would have made me even more bummed, considering someone dies in it, but i still want to read it.

booo.

"I just walked home from the sherrif's office."..."o.o"

You can tell who and how we are from our words and how we interact with one another, atleast that is what I would like to believe. By now there are a few facts that you should know.
1. Stephani is amazing, the second youngest (kevin jonas<3) apparently creative, a blog hog all that jazz.
2. Crystal is amazing(also) the 'middle child' of our ARMSAC family (joe jonas<3) creative, shy, and still outgoing.
3. Ren is amazing(hahah yea i'm stuck on that word), the baby[in some ways] (kevin jonas<3) really creative, [still in the process of blogging her first blog lol] and did i say amazing?
4. Melissa is amazing(yupp:]), the second oldest (Kevin &/or Joe Jonas<3) creative as mess(not blogging!) and the moderator.
5. Ashley is ....weird. old. (nick jonas<3) creative. talkative. PEDOPHILE.
yea that's pretty much it.
so ashley and i were talking today
and she said, 'I just walked home from the sherrif's office.'
and me being me i went O.O
and asked her why?
and she explained she went to work with her mother.
(sure)
and i was all...yea okay. if you say so.
I'm almost postive she got arrested for being a pedo on nick j<3
hahah
amazing to me.
amazing ily girl<3

xoxo
Stephani

distracted and scattered

i'm writing this as i'm talking to S and A...

and trying my best to read something on JBF.

and i was looking at JS but got out of that for now.

i seriously get distracted way to easily when online.

but then there are other times when i'm hoping for a distraction cause i'm so bored.
anyway this is pretty pointless.
mainly just writing it so i can say....
if you want to...
like with Ashley and Stephani...
be free to ask me any three questions you want and i will be completely honest with my answers.

<3

Crystal

Classified

My life reads like the classifieds.
Pages of what's for sale; what's on the auction block.
Attention bidders! It's Lot 45.
He's got a decent voice, he's got that crooked smile.
Hold on, you haven't heard the best yet.
He writes good storylines, he's got those honest eyes.
So take him home for just $9.95.
He'll sing the songs you like, he'll keep you warm at night.

My life reads like a classified.
Pages and words on sale, that's in my auction block.
Attention bidders. It's Lot 45.
This boy's got a happy voice, a crooked grin.
And yet you haven't even heard it all.
He writes songs that girls love, and those honeysuckle eyes.
You can take this picture of him home for $4.95.
He sings to you for your pleasure and he's there to keep you.

Now what boy could that be?

I'll give you guesses.
One.
Two.
Three.
<3

also like ash did with her ask me three questions go ahead ask me three questions about anything.
ily<3

xoxo
Stephani

oh hey there.

yep, i'm alive, just in case you were wondering. obviously you know this though since i've been texting you all. with so many people wanting computer time it's hard to keep up sometimes. plus i don't exactly want the location of this blog to be found so i have to be super cautious...kinda.

i'm gonna have to agree with crystal and say that that text message thing was a nifty idea. and i wanted to try to put it in blog form.

each of you girls (and random readers, though i doubt we have those) are free to ask me 3 questions each. (even the ones that messaged back the other day.) i swear to be completely honest and can only imagine/fear what you girls will come up with.

in other news, if jb goes country i quit them. i WILL break up with nick if this happens. and don't even think that i won't because i will. they better not. end of.

so being back in louisiana feels like i'm finally home. there's just something about this town and this house that makes me feel like a kid again, but in a good way. i went to the park with my uncle and dylan yesterday and i just...the place is so beautiful. but in an old, about to fall down way. the entire town is.

i'm glad to be home, even though it messes up my time with ARMSAC. i'm getting on meebo right now and you girls better be on!

Sometimes my brain is on overload

Okay so yesterday the little text thing that we did obviously got some of us thinking. Stephani started to think about why she was the way she was. I started wishing that I could build a time machine, but to go to the past and not the year 3000. And I learned what Ashley's deepest fear was.

I don't know what other thought provoking questions were asked, or if there were any others. I do know that a humorous question was asked to me, courtesy of Stephani. And I was serious there Steph, my milkshake does not bring all the boys to the yard and the other girls aren't jealous because it's better than theirs.

All in all, I'm thinking that that excercise was a good one. And I know that if any of you girls want to ask me a question at any time, I'm going to do my best to be honest. I mean let's face it, if you can't be completely honest with your best friends, who can you be honest with?

I'm sure there is an answer to that one, but I don't want to find it. My friends (particularly the ones in this group and only a few others) mean the world to me. I figured this out yesterday or this morning whichever way you want to look at it. I'm much more willing to get my heart broken by a friend than I am a guy. Of course getting your heart broken by anyone sucks, but I'm much more trusting when it comes to friends. Then again, I'm sure a lot of girls are.

I've also figured out that I start to think of some people as friends almost as soon as I start talking to them. I know that I probably shouldn't but sometimes I can't help it. I think that's how it was when I started talking to these girls. With each one of them, our friendship started after I read a story of theirs and commented.

Now I know these girls or some of them anyway claim that I've been *too* nice to them when it comes to that, but the truth is...I was being 110% honest with anything that I said. All of these girls are talented writers and I love reading what they come up with. Heck I even just love reading their blog post.

Okay now that I've sounded a bit like the sap that I am, I think I'm going to end this here. Mainly because the Charter tech person could be here anytime, and I know they're going to have to use my laptop to fix/rework the internet. Just remember that I love you girlies.

(Disaster) It's not just a movie it's my life.

I don't know why but I feel the urge to blog all the time. I mean maybe it's just cause I have a lot to say. I mean I think I have the biggest mouth out of all us ARMSAC girls, even Ashley's mouth isn't as big as mine. But I mean I think we all know who wins the big mouth contest. stephani duh.
But yea as I sit here texting Ash & Crystal I ponder something. Why am I the way I am?
I mean my personality isn't exactly nice. And truthfully I never thought of why I was this way before like now.
It's actually all thanks to Crystal. And no I am not saying she is to blame for me being this way. I mean she is the one who made me think about it.

So.here.I.go.
My life was normal for a while. But that all changed when I was *four*. Up until that time my parents had been pretending to the happily married and then *one* day my mom got mad, threw my dad's keys in the trash(it was trash day and the garbage man got them before my dad), and left. Ever since then I was in Virginia now I love Virginia with all of my heart after all I did end up living there for *thirteen* years. But Connecticut will always be my home. So then I had a semi normal life again until I was in the *third* grade. That was the year that made me who I am.
I know I know how does *third* grade affect a child in such a horrible way to make them who they are. Well this is what happened that year. My dad had always dated after him and my mom broke up, so did my mom that's not the big deal. The big deal is that when I was in the *third* grade he married a woman named Lisa. I suppose everyone thought Lisa was cool at first. I mean I liked her at *first*. But then it happened. We all got to finally see Lisa's true colors.
Now before I go into why she changed my life so much I should tell you a bit more about her. She looks like a normal person, if that normal person was Lindsay Lohan on crack about *twenty* years older and a bit taller. She had *two* children at the time a son and a daughter, Bretten & Alexis, Bretten is in his *twenties*, Alexis is *nine* days older than me. They look nothing alike, because she had Bretten in high school with her *first* husband and Alexis some time later with someone else.
So back to her true colors and how she changed my life. I believe above I mentioned that she looked like Lindsay Lohan on crack. Well that might have something to do with the fact that she was infact on crack, and coke, and weed, and meth basically you name it she did it. We didn't know it at *first*, if we had my dad would not have married her, he used to be a cop and knows what happens. So she moved in with my dad, at my grandparents(she used all their $ for drugs) and she started to steal from my grandmother. So she got kicked out of there. Notice I said she and not anyone else we all stayed she went. Her and my dad bought a few properties, somehow they had money for that. And then she burned at least *one* of them down for drug money.
She went to jail, came back, went to jail came back, went to jail, came back again. I swear she's been in jail like *twenty* times in the past *eight( years. She used to harrass my mother, from either my fathers house or from jail, by calling and leaving threatening messages on the answering machine. Of course they were full of curse words and such. And the answering machine was in my room. I was *nine* at the most when they started. I grew tougher so that her words wouldn't hurt then and there. So she is part of the reason that I am this way.
She used drugs for a majority of her pregnancy with my half brother. The only reason she stopped was she got put in jail. Currently she is in 'rehab'(we think she's lying) in Florida(oh but when she calls the caller id says Georgia).
And the other reason is a boy. His tale is actually worse than hers and for the longest time I never thought that could happen, but it did. His name isn't important I've given up speaking it because I know if I do he'll find out somehow and hurt me worse than he has before.
This tale starts almost exactly after Jamie died. I met that other boy. We talked and were friends for well a while and then I decided I was okay to date him. So I started to and it was fine at first. And then it wasn't fine. The words coming out of his mouth, the way his hands worked on my body were pure hell. It got to the point of I couldn't wear anything but hoodies or long sleeve shirts. Because he beat me that fucking bad. Like I was pure black and blue.
(P.S. renners sorry for the language!)
I was with him for *six* months before Jamie's cousin(*one* of my exboyfriends) Jess saw him attack me and literally saved my life. I gained weight, a lot of weight. I mean yes I was already over weight but I gained probably a hundred pounds during that *six* month period of time when I was dating him.
He came to Connecticut not to long ago claiming I was talking shit about him. And beat me so bad that I couldn't walk straight, and I was at work when it happened and no *one* saw anything. But I am infact a better person than he is. But he is part of the reason I'm so 'abusive' towards my friends.
I'm mean because I care. I'm mean because it helps me see who my real friends are. I'm mean because I'm scared. And I'm mean because it means I don't have to let people in.
I'm so sorry for being so mean guys. You all I love to death.
xoxo
Stephani
(p.s. REALLY SORRY ABOUT THE LANGUAGE THROUGHOUT THE BLOG(posts!))

i spend way too much time online.

case in point.

Ethan, the truth behind my future husband

So while in the hell hole my mother calls home. I got to meet a boy. named Ethan.
and I have decided to marry him.
and have his babies.
hahahaha jk....
welll sort of.
but he is gorgeous.
so here is a picture of Ethan.

....
I think it would be better if he was nakked but stillll.

maybe a real blog later?
xoxo
Stephani

bloggy blog blog!

dude, so it makes me so happy to see other ARMSAC girls besides me and steph write on here.

welcome to the blog crystal! ren and mel just have to write and we'll be one big blogging family!

there's no real purpose to this blog. i just wanted to post.

i was cleaning out some stuff today and i came across so much stuff that i forgot i had. some of it made me super happy (like finding my first pair of converse and realizing they still fit and finding about 20 shirts that i used to wear all the time) and some made me cry. (like finding mally the absinthe bear and the map of nodd.) but it was all fun to go through. i can't believe i was going to just throw everything away. i'm glad i went through it.

tomorrow is my last day in this house, in this city, in this state. and i thought i'd be so ready to go and be super stoked about it. and i am...but finding those things made me realize just how much life i had here.

i mean i was never popular, i never had many friends, and i was the biggest loser in the history of the world, but it was home. brookhaven helped me come out of my shell. i used to be the quiet girl who read books (and to be honest harry potter slash) and talked to will all the time. then i found forensics and for better or worse it made me who i am. it forced me out of my comfort zone so much it's insane. and i'm grateful.

hahah who said by hanner just came on.

and i'm dancing along like an idiot because it's oddly fitting.

i don't know what the future's gonna hold. i don't know what tomorrow will bring when i finish cleaning and packing. but i do know one thing.





































































































who said who said i can't be superman?

i say, i say that i know i can!



had to. :)

I put the C in ARMSAC

hello there. I'm Crystal...nicknamed Crystalily by the wonderful Stephani...and Crysters by the amazing Ashley. Hm..a little about me. I'm 18..currently living in Michigan...and I'm the eldest yet middle child. Confused? Well it's simple. I'm the eldest child with my mom but middle child for my dad. Oh and I turn 19 in a little over 2 months...scary.

Now I see that the other two girls have talked about the rest of us ARMSAC girls in their first or second post...or I guess we've been mentioned in almost everyone of them but still. I figure I can be completely unoriginal at this point and do the same.

Ashley...oh geez what to say about her? She's the oldest age wise, but definitely the youngest in her own way. Definitely still a kid at heart, but then again I suppose we all are. Ash is random and funny and just incredible. She's an amazing writer even though she thinks otherwise, but the truth is I love her writing. It's kind of why I commented on the things that she wrote over on JBF. Which of course was the start of a beautiful friendship.

Ren...the baby of the group age wise, but if you go by maturity I would definitely put her as the oldest, and I totally mean that as a good thing. She's like the 'old soul' of the group I suppose. The one who seems wise beyond her years. And I have to admit this, I am totally jealous of her way with words. She's an incredible author and I swear I see her being published one day. And I will totally be in line to by that book the day it comes out...if I have the money. But I will definitely by that book.

Melissa...the artist of the group. Seriously the talent for drawing...amazing. Her comics are totally love...as well as her stories. I love all of her writing, especially the crack! fics that she does.. They are so entertaining. And Mel I know the two of us don't talk all that often, but it doesn't make love you any less.

and last but certainly not least, Stephani...the crazy, perverted one of the group, although her and Ashley seem to share that. I wonder if that's why the two of them seem to fight so much sometimes, the fact that they do have somewhat similar personalities...and yet they are so different. Anyway Stephani is the only ARMSAC girl that I have already had the privilege to meet...and it was incredible. So much fun...even the perverted IM convos about my brother. It probably wouldn't have really been a trip with Stephani if at least one of those didn't happen. Here is yet another amazing writer...and yet another one who doesn't realize it.

All of these girls are incredible...and I know that at least a few of them don't see that, whether it be sometimes or all the time. But they are. And these last how many ever weeks it was that I didn't have internet access was torture because I didn't get the chance to talk to them that much. Hopefully I don't have to go without internet again for a long ass time.

It is an honor to be included in this group of amazingly, wonderful and beautiful girls. Whether it be in their stories or just in the friendships that I have with them. I love you girls and I so hope that we are able to stay friends until we are all old and in retirement homes somewhere. And hopefully when we are in a retirement home, we're all in the same one. Just think of all the fun we could have even then.

Oh and one last thing before I forget (which I almost did)...I so can't wait until July. This may (probably will) just be the best summer of my life so far.

~*Crystal

A New Year, A New Cheer, A Old Fear

Every year everything stays the same. I make new friends and loose old friends. I have boyfriends, get dumped and get screwed over by the people I love which will always stink with a capital STINK.
Currently I'm at my mothers house in the middle of nowhere in North Carolina. Fun right not.
I hate my stepdad, that's nothing new I've hated him for as long as I can remember but I think he really went ot a new level of making me hate him this time.
My birthday is Christmas which means I turned 18(finally!!!!) and my whole family at my mom's house wished me a happy birthday and talked to me and merry christmas and all that jazz on my birthday...except my step-dad. I come to his house and he doesn't wish me a happy birthday infact the three things he says to me are. "did it snow." "Thanks for the shirts" and "are you coming with us?" yea and then he freaking yells at me because of how i am sitting on a couch, when the whole reason i am sitting that way on the couch is because HIS two youngest children (my half sister and brother) are playing on my laptop with me and if i sit the right way they can't play with me. WTF. Ugh so i like went upstairs and said they never had to see me again.
I went back home saw people i missed, people who i didn't miss, people who never talked to me and people who I wished i talked to more. I called a boy the wrong name, oh freaking well i never talked to him seriously maybe once since ninth grade. Got my ears pierced talked my friend into getting her ears pierced and another into getting her eyebrow pierced. Almost got my lip pierced, went to a hooka lounge and remembered why i was glad i didn't live there still.
I'm back in North Carolina now and I've come to realize three things. I'm so much happier when my step dad isn't around. My half siblings(Kara & Jr.) and one of my step sisters(Nikki) are pretty much the only reason I come home. And I'm blind as a bat. Seriously FREAKING BLIND.
I can't wait to go home tomorrow to see my kittens, my friends, my bed. It will all be amazing. I can't waaaaait! (Plus i get to have an awesome armsac chat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
This is a blog of nothing really but I wanted to blog, i needed to blog, blogging is the most important thing ever.

Ashley you missed something on your pretty little list thingie! We are going to see Harry Potter on the 19th(i believe) cause we can!
Crystal first blogggg sweeeeeto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and everyone else who is reading this.
Happy new year(a little bit late) and remember everything isn't how it seems.

xoxo
Stephani

ps Ash I'm gonna post the picture of him in bed tomorrow unless i find it on this comp lol<3

just a blog to keep track of junk

okay it seems like every day us girls think of something new we want to at ARMSAC 09. being the savvy planner person that i am (psh, yeah right) i've decided to write down all of the plans we've made so far so we can keep track of it.

(yes, if we need to update this, we can just copy and paste all of this here into a new blog and add to it, k?)

okay so ARMSAC is officially scheduled for July 11-22nd. (Saturday is the 11th, Wednesday is the 22nd...if that matters.)

as of right now here is all we have "planned." please correct me if i'm wrong on any of these dates or if i missed something. for days we haven't really picked a day/night for i just put something there. (ie new york day, movie night...blah blah)

11th - arrive. (me, ricky and crystal all meet up with steph at the airport of awesomeness.)

12th - PENGUINS OMG.

13th - mel's house/live chat (oh yeah, it's happening)

14th - movie night?

15th - cow tipping?

16th - new york?

17th - armsac's prom/hotel party...oh yeahhh

18 - ?

19 - ?

20 - ?

21 - ?

22 - bye bye!

okay, so i lazy putting stuff up.

but whatevs.

resolution revolution.

it's been the new year for less than two hours, and i can already feel it's going to be a better year. i mean i'm not gonna kid myself...i know it's going to be hard and i'll find plenty to bitch about in the future (maybe even later today) but as far as the feeling goes, i think it's gonna be a great year.

i don't remember the last time i've felt so free. it really feels like i've been lifted out of something bad and into something good. i know what made me feel this way, but i don't want to say it. but i want to be honest, so here goes...

i think my friendship with will was just stagnant. it wasn't going anywhere and i HATED being ignored. i even hated him every now and then. and then i decided to just tell him and we agreed not to be friends, and ever since...i've been floating.

i think our friendship had been dying for a while we were just scared to do anything about it. but i can't be scared anymore.

and my last blog was proof that something needed to happen. i was so frazzled and frantic. now, not so much.

so i never make new years resolutions because i never really remember them or quit them, but this year i'm gonna make a few.

so here goes...make sure i keep them up. :)

1. save save save. we all know this needs to happen.
2. find whatever makes me happy, and do it. i'm tired of being a pushover and doing whatever. i need to start thinking about myself.
3. be a better friend. i don't want to be a sometimes friend. i want all of my friends to know i'm there for them.
4. listen to more music. especially the oldies i've forgotten about. it's been too long since i've pulled out my punk albums.
5. diet. hahah we all know how much i've tried this one.

i can do this. i feel like i can do anything. this is a great start to an awesome year.

this year will be the ARMSAC meeting...wth..it's getting so close!