I am talented.

Just put my make up on using my webcam. :]
that's really all i wanted to say.

"We Make the Perfect pear" (aka friday & saturday :])

Friday-
Bed 2AM.
Awake 6AM
Breakfast with Ben & Graham.
Do nothing til Lunch with Tanner & his rents.
They are convinced I am a hooker... and a cheap one at that.
I leave because they piss me off.
get check.
Cash Check.
watch wowp.
pack finally.
Leave fifteen minutes late.
get gas.
Make that twenty five minutes late.
Get told there is an hour and ten minutes of traffic.
ten minutes later there is no traffic.
drive to the house not the mobile.
meg tells me to go to the mobile.
meg then tells me to go to the house.
*GLARES*
go inside the house and wait with strangers watching sonny with a chance.
Meg shows up! yeaaa!!!
watch everyone eat dinner. i didn't eat.
get everyone in the car.
Driving.
Megan Marie calls.
Puts Jason on the phone.
teenies, got it on video.
Puts Andy on the phone.
teenies so bad he hurts his ear :[
i get the phone too!
Tell him "We make the perfect pear" (they were buying pears!)
got it on video.
puts ALEX MOTHER EFFIN NOYES on the phone.
teenies, gets stuck in the car
got it on video, tell him we will honor roll & hang out in boston.
Go inside the concert.
Listen to one KSM song. ( I want you to want me!)
Get Merch.
Bought Richard a t-shirt. (tradition!!!!)
Talk to Megan and Erin on the phone!
Epically happy!
Go to find Meg's friends.
get totally lost.
Go back to seats for David.
He had a sing along.
Kinda didn't like him.
Sang Apologize by one republic.
Loveddd it<3
he finished.
we walk and get food.
See Mike & Dave from David's band.
*takes pic with dave*
"Let me take it."-Mike.
"I like it better this way."-me
"Oh...okay"-Mike
*takes pic with Mike
"WAIT did i blink?"-Mike
"Nope!"-Me
*shows him picture and then they leave.*
Go back to our seats right as Demi comes on.
Her shoes look like if she feel she would break her ankle.
She sings way to many new songs.
She goes to change wardrobe & when she comes back like half the people left.
Get back starts & it's effin amazing!!!!
Concert ends.
Walk outside, can't leave our car is blocked by other cars.
Wait by buses.
*bus driver comes out*
SCREAMS INSANELY
*sound guy gets off bus*
SCREAMS INSANELY
"I'm just the sound guy"-sound guy.
I SCREAM LOUDER <3<3<3<3
talk to random people.
get on plant thing and start to sing
"See Noyes In the Dark" & do the honor roll
Keep singing that song & doing the dance.
little girl in orange shirt glaresss at me and meg.
I start singing demi songs.
She glarrrrreeesss even worse.
*evil little girl*
Start back with See Noyes In the Dark.
Singing Jonas.
Back with See Noyes In the Dark.
Meg calls someone as people from demi's band walk out.
I scream
"HEY YOUR SEXY."
They turn to look and I hide behind meg.
we wait like an hour.
Start driving home.
Radio Disney is on the Radio.
Miley starts
"Isn't she dating one of the jonas brothers?"
laughter and talking.
Paranoid comes on.
Singing along.
Driving
Car stopped at a funny place with a guy laying outside it with a DARK colored liquid around his head.
I think it was blood.
We call the police.
More people notice.
They run across the street to help.
The eight year old in the back is scaredddd.
My phone just died so I can't even like twitter about it.
Police show up so we leave.
11:11 I get in my car.
Follow Meg's aunt to the apartment.
Saturday
get there at like 12:11.
I have service & meg doesn't!!
*victory is mine!*
Bed at like 1 AM
Wake up like twelve times.
It's effin cold.
Move so that the air doesn't touch me.
wake up at like 9:35
go to Dunkin Donuts.
Whore messed up my iced tea.
Simple fucking instructions and she messed it up.
Okay maybe not simple
"Medium ice tea in made in an extra large hot cup with six sugars melted, three lemons and extra ice."
easy right?
she puts liquid sugar.
it's tastes different than melted granulated sugar.
& there is ice tea all over my cup.
*WHORE!*
walk around
see a veryyy cute puppy.
walk inside and get a bagel.
Go sit on a like concrete wall.
eat & drink.
go back to the house.
decide against changing clothes, i was gonna come home and shower.
pack everything up.
leave.
get lost, of course what else is new with me?
find my way back.
my GPS said i wouldn't get home til 1:30.
Pulled in my driveway at 12:58.
:]
I win.<3

I might just be an Archie girl for life now...

So I'm totally loving David Archuleta at the moment. I'll admit, I didn't watch AI the season he was a contestant. But I'm reading his Twitter page. Dude, this guy is almost as Twitter-addicted and some of you girls are *coughacertainsomeonewithapenchantformulticoloredhaircough* Yes, I said it. I still love you. All of you just kill my Twitter page because I'm never on Twitter. Like...ever.

Anywayyy, so can I just for a couple of seconds am going to rant about this kid. Because he seems like a very legitly cool person. First of all, he's on tour with Demi. Yeah. He responds to like a million tweets from fans (he was 105,000 freaking followers. And he's personally responding to people?????) Kina Grannis opened for him (if you have not heard of her. GO. NOW YOUTUBE. I'M NOT KIDDING. SHE IS AMAAAAZING....at some point, I'm going to make a big giant post of music that I want to expose everyone two because, not gonna lie, I kind of feel like that's my purpose in love. To spread my love of music (and my expansive iTunes library) with the world and make people fall in love with artists/songs/albums that way.

Okay, back to Archie. He linked to Kina's cover of The Call by Regina Spektor...which I'm pretty sure once upon a time, I showed the same link to Mel. Yes. This kid is awesome. I cried the first time I heard her cover of that song (but I cry at a lot of things). He tweets about random stuff (the person in the hotel room next to him with a creepy laugh. Who, as I'm reading on, apparently has a Southern drawl. I hope he doesn't have anything against a Southern accent, otherwise, I might just have to stop thinking he's a cool person. Immediately.)

Bahaha, he's funny. XD Yesh, I'm subjecting you people to this, what is basically my stream of consciousness as I'm reading this Twitter feed. Quite fun, no? If you weren't interested at all, you would've stopped reading by now.

(....Totally random by the way, did you know that John Mayer loves "The Climb". Oh yeah.)


If nothing else, I think my musicals taste must be near identical to this kid's. Regina Spektor, Kina Grannis, Demi, and HOLY AFOSNAOGNHWA;OIGHW;EIGHA;WIGHAWPEIGH. He said "She Is Love" by Parachute rocks. See? Do you see why I love this kid?

....Probably because it's 2:21 AM and that's how I roll this late...early.

He also likes Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Like...can name the characters by name.

And I already liked his music beforehand. XD Although...I do have one question. Well, two questions. But we'll go one at a time here. First of all, why on earth was his first single Crush instead of Touch My Hand because the latter is just completely amazing with the lyrics and the melody and the beat and gahhhh. Second question. Is this a real song or just a hypothetical situation. Or better yet, a really great marketing ploy? Singing about spotting a pretty girl in the audience and holding onto that moment, that feeling. Oh, I bet ya everytime he sings that live, he has every single girl...maybe a few guys, too, on the edge of their seats because they're allllll thinking that he's singing to each one of the individually. If it happened for real, I hope that she goes back because of that song, and if life were a fairytale, I would hope that he would recognize her and go after her the next time. I'm sorry, but would that not be one of the most ridiculously cute, romantic things you've ever heard of?

Mmkay, I'm done. Because I seriously think I might pass out soon. I'm that tired.


*clonk*

(201): NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"

I can't believe he is dead, also that was the best text from last night i saw.
RIP <3

shut up and put your money where your mouth is

(i'm listening to waking up in vegas, that's why my title is what it is)

in response to steph's blog:

i'm so sorry! it's always tough to lose a pet, and you've lost several. i'm so sad for you! :(

--
life is really strange sometimes. i think we all can agree on that one simple statement.

yes, this is another will blog. hahaha we only talk like once a month so i feel obligated to question the chat every month. you don't have to read this.

so earlier i got a text from him saying that out of all the friends he's had i'm one of the only ones he can trust, even though we're not really friends anymore and we rarely talk. so that was sort of nice, in a idk why you're telling me this sort of way. so i ask him what's up and we have a long chat via text about what's bothering him. i give him advice and he told me that when i say things they just sound right...wow.

he also said that me just existing makes him feel better. which made me feel AWESOME, because me existing makes me feel better too.

basically he has a boyfriend (and i SOOOO pegged him as gay years ago, even before we read hp slash together and he got a huge crush on a boy i wanted to kill him for liking (he was such an asshole!) so HAH.) and he doesn't know how to tell his homophobic friend. well first of all i wanted to say that if his friend were a homophobe and he hung around will a lot then he's just retarded, but i didn't. i was kind and supportive. i felt all special helping.

yeah this post made no sense. my will blogs rarely do. i just ugh. bye.

I have the worst luck with pets.

And that's the truth. I have horrible luck with pets. Since I was born I've had so many cats and dogs and turtles and fish and everything. All but two of my cats have died so far. The dog that was my dog, the one we got when I was born died. I've had a turtle bite a huge chunk out of my cheek so that I had to go to the hospital. My hampsters got scared and ate their babies in front of me. And my fish never last long, my brother & I actually fried a pair of Beta's by accident one day.
And I wouldn't even post this blog but today has been a horrible day for me. I cried at work and now I'm crying at home.
I came home from work today and my grandmother calls me into her room. This was normal she called me there all the time so I was used to it. But before I even made it into the room she spoke.
"Your cats dead."
What? Why does this always happen to me. I didn't cry I instead walked into the room and listened to my grandmother tell me how my brother had found her on the side of the road she had tried to run across and get food when my family got home with the groceries. It seems so odd but i thought for once I would have a pet that lived, because I love animals so much. But she didn't. And she was my baby, no it wasn't Draco it was Jersey but Jersey was my little girl who ran to me when I got home and who would follow me around the house. And it's always my cat. We've had a good thirty cats since I was born and mine always dies.
Pumpkin was eaten by a coyote.
Julia died in child birth.
Roberts was hit by a car.
Socks just never came back.
Boot was hit by a car.
Jersey was hit by a car.
Skimmer had heart problems.

Out of all the cat's I've had and those are only the ones i can remember I still have two.
Skittles, who hates humans and hides all the time.
& Draco who I love to death.

I don't know I just I don't think I should get pets anymore. No matter how much I love them. Because everything I love dies.

xoxo
Sinful Stephani

When You Read Between the Lines

So, I haven’t blogged in forever and I figure since the meet-up is so close, I probably should, hahah.

First, I want to respond to Ash’s previous post:

I give you huge props for what you’re doing. You’re traveling the farthest out of all of us, and by yourself. And I really understand that that’s scary, so you absolutely don’t have to feel bad about being scared. It’d be weird if you weren’t. But we swear we’ll try and make it worthwhile.
And as for us not liking you anymore after this…well, that’s not going to happen. I know it. It’s just like a gut feeling. You’re an awesome person (you all are <3) and I honestly don’t think I’m capable of not liking any of you. Even if we’re all PMSing our asses off. And I know that Steph and I already get along in person, and Steph and Crystal already get along in person, and I feel like the group dynamic is just going to be great. Insane, but great. Because I talk to you girls online more than I do my friends here in the same town as me, so I know it’ll be fine.

On another note, I’m trying hard to figure out what days I’m actually going to BE there, which sucks sucks SUCKS. I really didn’t think I was going to get the responsibility of being co-director this summer, so I wasn’t really prepared. Luckily Erin’s in charge too, so I can get away with time off from working, but I have to factor in swim lessons and covering shifts, so there might be some days I’ll have to miss out on. Which makes me really sad, because this seems like a once in a lifetime kinda thing, unless we can get these meet-ups to happen on a semi-regular basis. But I also can’t blow this job, because it’s important and we already got the position over a guy with a year more experience than us, and I’ve already got two family vacations making me take time off too. But I’ll be there as much as I possibly can—hopefully things will work out.

All worrying aside, I CANNOT believe this is actually going to happen. When we were talking about it way back when, and when the countdown was still in the triple digits, it seemed like just an idea that we hoped would happen. But now it actually is. And I can’t believe how fast it snuck up on me! Just two weeks. Wow. It’s going to be so epic, I really can’t wait. :]

lines vines and trying times

yes, i give you permission to call me lame for using that as my blog post title. go ahead, i know already. :)

with armsac so close the worries that were blissfully missing for a while are now coming back full force. it's not so much the money issue (though that is still something i should be concerned about) but it's just the general meeting up.

i'm gonna let you in on something. i'm not a grown up AT ALL. i know you're probably sitting there like "duh" but trust me, you have no idea. i'm almost 21 years old and i still haven't gotten my driver's license. worse? i barely know how to drive. i can point the blame at a lot of people (namely the ones that keep telling me we'll go driving but never take me) but at the end of the day it's me. i'm kinda scared to drive.

when i get right down to it, i'm just a big baby and i'm scared of everything. it's just a fact about me. i know that things shouldn't be scary and i can joke about it, but at the end of the day i let this irrational part of my brain take over and i just become this scared little chicken.

so armsac has me shaking in my boots (not literally because i don't have a pair of boots and i'm actually quite still in front of the computer) because i'll be doing some things that may force me to grow up a little bit.

in a little more than two weeks (holy shit that's scary, and wow i pause my monologue with a lot of parenthesis) i'll be getting on an airplane by myself. i'll be stuck in atlanta for three hours by myself. i'll be meeting people i've only ever talked to online or on the phone BY MYSELF. no grandma or mom to help me out or anything. i'm doing this on my own.

and it really terrifies me.

it's not so much meeting you guys, because i think if anyone were the serial killer in the group it would be me (hahah my fanfics anyone?) but at the same time it's just so surreal to know that i'll be face to face with people i've never met. and i'm excited, i'm super excited and wish it were tomorrow, but at the same time it has me so worried i don't know what to do. i worry if we'll get along in person, i worry if we'll all still like each other after this is all said and done.

but most of all i worry about the fact that you'll meet me and realize that i'm just a big baby and annoying and you'd be better off without me.

and (oh god i'm crying...see? i'm a big baby) that has me so scared. because for a year you guys have been my best and only friends. you've been there for me when i was up, and you've worried about me when i disappeared off the face of the earth for a few days. not only have you guys been friends, you've been the people i've confided in the most. you've been the ones who inspire me to write, to do things i normally wouldn't do, and every once in a while have fun with life.

the thought that you guys will see me and realize just how annoying and a pain i am terrifies me. because i don't know what i'd do without you guys.

i've said it a million times - it's so hard for me to make friends. and i'd hate for this meeting to be the end of three (because ren isn't gonna be there) friendships that i've grown to cherish more than anything.

and i hate writing this because i'm not looking for "oh everything will be alright" because we don't know do we? we won't know how we all are together until it happens? and knowing that my fears can be justified just makes them more real.

and then there's other minor worries like the fact that i'm pretty sure that time of the month will be during armsac, and i have the tendency to get super emotional at the tiniest thing. like if you even look at me wrong i cry. and i don't want to do that.

anyway, i just thought i'd share that and get it off my chest.

i just don't think anybody realizes what a huge step this is for me. i've never done anything on my own, and i'm about to do so much and i can't hide the fact i'm scared.

I'm going down down.

So as weird as this sounds I'm kind of upset that I might not be doing school anymore. I was the one from the very begining who said that I didn't want to be in school right away. I was the one who was so mad about my gram making me go to school. I hated how much work I had to do in such a short period of time. I mean most classes last a semester I took mine in nine weeks. I didn't have breaks from school. I was tired all the time. The work was killing me. And here it is summer break time and I can't help but want to be on break but I know I should be doing my school work. Well I got a letter a few days ago, and then again today, saying I might owe money for my two classes I'm in. I owe $2450+ for two classes. Two classes that have nothing to do with me being a teacher. I don't need bio or physchology skills to be a teacher. Yea science is helpful but taking four science classes that will cost me over $5000 total for them is not worth it. Especailly when I'm not learning anything. I did six science classes in my high school career all before I was a Senior in high school. I understand earth science, biology, chemistry, oceanography, physics and anatomy and physiology. I took six maths, Algebra 1 &2, Geometry, Pre-cal, probibality & statistics. I took advanced history every single year. I was in advanced english every single year. I know the stupid things you are trying to teach me. I know how to do labs, I know how to write papers. I know how to add. I did an art class (or two) each year. I took German well enough to go to Germany and have conversations with native Germans other than things about Kuh's (cows). I'm smart and yet all that online college has made me feel is dumb. I don't 'participate' because I don't feel like telling a bunch of thrity + year olds that they are wrong on simple matters such as the differences between plant & animal cells. I do my work and yet on occasion my teachers don't give me credit. One teacher told me that he couldn't open my paper, I offered to send it in, in a different format and he told me it didn't matter I was still getting a zero. I was told no more school today, because they aren't spending more money on it. So probably after Wednesday no more school for me. My grandparents give my brother the world, they gave him 8,000 for school not to long ago and yet i need less than 3,000 and i get told no. it's just i don't know.
ugh.