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Saturday, November 15, 2008

Prude's Eye View

Ah my little play on words it was cute right? Okay maybe not. But still this is my take on everything.
I don't give a flying fuck if you have sex, if you drink or smoke or do any of that. But you do drugs and I am so disappointed in you. Like all my friends know this. Ashley texted me earlier and said she knew it made me mad but it doesn't make me mad it disappoints me. Seriously do you have nothing better to do in life than to waste your brain cells on a euphoria that lasts for only a few hours yet effects your life forever.
I think my main reason for being this way is I've seen what drugs do to people since I was in the (third) grade. My step-mother is a crack addict whore. And yes I say stuff like that about other people but when I say it about her I mean it. Cause she is. I never saw my step-mother doing drugs but she was in and out of jail and rehab from a very early age in my life. She had my half-brother in rehab, he was half addicted to crack and he had to have medication for at least a year to help with his immune system. Hell right now she is in Florida(i think) in rehab. Or that's where she is suppose to be.
Then there is the fact that the part of time I lived in growing up with my mom was drug filled. It was a rare day when someone wasn't arrested, fought, killed, shot or stabbed over a drug deal gone bad. Almost all of my friends in high school at one point or another tried drugs and I can honestly say that I never did. And if I can get away with it I never will. I had the friends who would sit there and ask me time after time to go smoke with them and I knew and wouldn't go. Even at 17 in a different state I have people here asking me, after knowing me for a month or two, to go smoke with them, and telling me about how they were in a gang and did crack and this and that. I don't give a fuck. I don't like talking about drugs okay? I get told by one of the girls I used to work with that I 'straight up smoke'. No bitch I don't I unlike most of the rest of the world want to be able to remember my life and not have it be filled with a fog or of me shoving my face, cause I do that enough as is.
Yes I smoke cigarettes I have since I was twelve, but at the same time I am quitting. It's not that I don't like smoking I do, but I work with the people who have been smoking for basically their whole life and they can barely breath. I don't want that.
Drinking is a semi-sore subject with me. Yes I have had some funny drunken moments other drunken moments have been not so funny and a bit more painful. I've been beaten to a point of almost death when I was sober and my at the time boyfriend was drunk beyond belief. I do drink, I admit that I mean beer and vodka and shit is just good. But I'm not going to sit there and force it on you or get so shit faced that I don't know what I am doing. I make sure I know what I am doing, because I can't afford to have anything else happen to me, not after all the other shit that has happened.
Two more subjects than I will stop this rant I suppose.
Sex, okay I don't give a living fuck who you sleep with how many times you slept with them where it happened none of that shit. So please stop telling me the details of your love life. I mean I don't mind if you talk about a boyfriend or girlfriend problem with me. But if that problem is that your boyfriend isn't pleasuring you like he used too or he gave you crabs or some bull shit like that. It's not my problem I don't give a living fuck. You know why I don't care? Cause I'm not getting any myself. So yea stfu. Last boy that I slept with died because some boy was jealous of my boyfriend talking to "his girl." Like I said STFU. ugh.
Last subject.
Jealousy (it's a disease bitch) you know what if you are gonna have a fucking heart attack cause your boyfriend is talking with me, or some girl is talking to your boyfriend or your boyfriend went out and didn't tell you there seems to be a problem here. And it's not that your boyfriend and you are having problems it's you are jealous okay? I hate jealousy you know why it kills innocent people. I got a phone call at fucking 5 AM telling me that my boyfriend of four years was murdered. It wasn't until almost three months later, after I was told that I couldn't go to his funeral in California, that his cousins, who are my best friends, told me that he was killed cause he picked up a girls books and then walked her to class. Yea you heard me that is what happened. The girls boyfriend found out and got pissed off at my boyfriend so that night when my boyfriend got up in the mess hall of the college that boy went up to his plate and 'dropped' a roll on his plate. I know what is so bad about this? He rubbed the roll all over Jamie's plate all over his food. Doesn't seem that bad right? It is that bad when you have an allergy to wheat. Not even twelve hours later he was dead. So jealousy is a bitch and so am I.
This is the 'prude's eye view.'

xoxo
Stephani

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